Today I woke up at 7:30.
I feel great about my determination to start putting down my thoughts every day.
Yesterday around 12:00 PM I had a waterfall of great thoughts pouring out of me. Unfortunately, I did not have a chance to put them down. But I still have an idea in my head what I wanted to say.
In the last couple of years, I have started to dig deep and analyze my behaviors and thought patterns. And also I have tried to shift it, because of the situations I were in.
We all are very different, and that is why I feel the most important thing to start and the sooner, the better, is to realize who YOU really are by questioning yourself and not looking at the others. Don't start with what you want to be, but start with - who you are. For example, I have always been very goal and decision oriented person. I always loved to create everything from scratch, I love to lead and manage, I thrive on competition. And I feel the best when I am in the position where I can 100% rely on myself, and I don’t need others help.
I even remember, at the age of 14-15 when dating thing kicked in, I did not liked when guys paid for me, I always wanted to pay for myself and buy everything myself. I just felt self-contained that way. Of course, thanks to my mom I have relearned this habit and now I understand that there are situations, when you just need to guy pay for it, a specially if he wants. Because for a man, this is also a way how to let out their alpha.
So for me being me, is vital to feel useful and successful. Feel that I have done and created something. That there is a meaning in my existence, and I can give to the world and the people. That I can serve and express myself. I feel happy and powerful when I have an opportunity to lead, to create, to share and to give. Accomplishments drive me. And I want to achieve more and more.
Even though of course I have thought about mothership, and I have had a long relationship, I know deep inside me, that I will not be fully calm and happy if I will not realize myself as a person.
I have started many small business ideas; I even remember when I was 10, I organized 2nd hand toy markets in our yard and sold toys I don’t need anymore to small children. I always enjoyed selling something.
When I was 15, I started to work as a dance teacher and choreographer in the dance school. Every new season was I way to express myself. Every September I would start teaching my dancers new choreographies, so by the end of the year, we can participate in championships. This was a playground for me with competition. And no wonder why my dancers were champions. It was my goal - every year to make sure I create something that is worth the 1st place. And I felt abnormally proud of my dancers and myself.
Success and achievements drive me. That's why now when I don’t compete anymore in dance championships I started to train for the marathon, and I want to compete in Bikini Fitness. And it is not to show off or be a target of all man's eyes in a shiny bikini, but because I just have a desire to set goals and just go for it.
Currently my biggest dream is to have a successful business. And I am out and about to learn and to stumble across what will be the next thing for me.
I can’t stop, and I will never stop. I always want to be the best.